Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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