i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There are leaves in my underwear?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
