i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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