Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize