so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
