loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
