yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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