Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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