hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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