I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
