just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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