I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
