This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
