I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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