There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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