I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Can you repeat that, but with context?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize