She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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