i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
