Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There r osticjed everywhere
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
