Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
