addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
