Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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