Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
