Me too!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
