2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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