Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
