lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish my penis had a tongue
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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