so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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