I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
