just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In other news, I just burned my penis
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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