"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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