Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
