What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
