Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
the condom got lost in my hair
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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