i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize