Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cut my penus on the lid.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize