i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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