You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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