Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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