i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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