We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
