I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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