where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
