Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I need help removing her.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize