hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
