my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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