wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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