Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
