Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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