Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
