We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
