"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
