oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
