I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
