Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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