its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
