the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
