No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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