I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
3pm strippers are depressing
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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