I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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