I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My ass is underappreciated
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize