im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I supernannyed him into submission
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
