well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
