She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
