it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize