Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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