we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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