just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
