Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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