Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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