You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
