we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
