And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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