Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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