its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Sober January is a disaster.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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