Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So much Jack, so little girl.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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