Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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