Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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