he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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